Walk This Way

photo: Kate Ter Haar cc

It's exciting to see the enthusiasm among teens at my sons' school for the upcoming Autism Walk. My only regret -- and it's a biggie -- is that the walk supports Autism Speaks, an organization that's garnered a less than ideal "financial" score from the Charity Navigator watchdog group; has repeatedly demonized autistic children in its "awareness" campaigns; and, one could argue, seems to focus more on scaring people than tangibly helping to improve life for children and families experiencing autism.

If I could wave a magic wand, I would transfer at least part the Autism Walk funds to the Doug Flutie Jr. Foundation for Autism, which actually provides grants to families -- in some cases through Joey's Fund, honoring a beautiful little girl killed in the 2012 Newtown tragedy -- for medical bills; advocacy-related legal fees; therapies; mainstream activities like art, music and horseback riding that can be extremely beneficial for autistic children and teens; and other expenses that challenge middle- and especially lower-income families.

While it may be too late this year, what about encouraging our fired-up kids next year to organize a smaller but more helpful (to real-live people with autism) walk or other event benefitting the Flutie Foundation? Alternatives to Autism Speaks can be frustratingly hard to find, but this organization -- at least as of spring 2014 -- seems to fit the bill.

True Blues

Blue Monday may be a myth, but in most places, January is doubtless one of the most brutal months weather-wise. The post-holiday comedown can be tough, too. Overall, not an easy time for teens struggling with depression.


Of course there's no substitute for a solid treatment plan for those with a clinical level of depression, but this video from the advocacy group Erika's Lighthouse offers an authentic-feeling collage of empathy and support from peers. Debunking the myth that only "the dark kid in the corner" is depressed, they mix facts with personal perspectives to help other depressed teens feel less alone.

Stuttering Support

cc photo: Kate Ter Haar

Sometimes the kids who most powerfully help other kids are characters in books. In the case of Vince Vawry's semi-autobiographical Paperboy, the 11-year-old protagonist struggles with a significant stutter against the backdrop of segregated Memphis in the late '50s. Lauded by both book critics who compare it to To Kill a Mockingbird and by disability groups like the Stuttering Foundation of America, this would make an especially great Christmas gift for middle schoolers who stutter. Or a great read-aloud choice for teachers with a student who does.

Doggedly Determined



image: amazon.com

 If you stopped by Amazon today, you probably saw the great story about 7-year-old-author Evan Moss. Afflicted with nighttime seizures that are perilous if not managed instantly with medication or, sometimes, a 911 call, Evan self-published a book, My Seizure Dog, to raise money for a specially trained canine companion capable of sniffing out seizures before they begin -- and warning his parents. The cost of such a pet is $13,000, and to date Evan's book has raised $41,000. Where did the extra cash go? He's donated all of it to help other kids -- 7 so far -- complete their fundraising goals and obtain seizure dogs.

Helping Out, Hanging Out

(image: plainfield.patch.com)

Greeting friends in the hall: A minor matter for most teens, but for those with autism and other disabilities that affect social interaction, it can take practice. And who better to practice with than typical peers? Adults "don't have the same know-how or the insider information" as peers, said speech-language pathologist Christopher Spiel of the Peer Communication Group he started two years ago at Plainfield East High School in Illinois.

Teacher-recommended students who have a solid academic record and are known as good role models can trade study hall time for a chance to work with their special-needs peers twice a week, facilitated by Spiel and a social worker. Volunteers go through a two-hour training, and the group focuses on trust and relationship building before tackling specific skills. "Special education students [are] self-conscious and ... don't like to show their weakness," Spiel told Plainfield Patch. "We spend a lot of time to develop trust."

Once a month, the students kick back together at Hang Time Club, which Spiel personally funds to give the special-education students a chance to snack, play games, and just enjoy people outside of their families.

A comment from peer helper Myles Walters is filled with the kind of natural sensitivity and respect that teens can bring to their peers with challenges: "I understand these kids are just like us, but they may not know these things."

The benefits go both ways. "We are all clicking." Walters added. "It's a joyful time."

Positive Attention: Thoughts from Rob Himburg, M.A.

I went to a parent discussion recently where the moderator talked about how kids' "sphere of influence" expands as they mature. Even through adolescence, parents remain major players in how a child sees him/herself and the world -- but peers matter more and more.

When ADHD is in the picture, this process can be tricky...but rewarding, too. I wanted to know how kids with ADHD can support each other, and Rob Himburg -- director of education at the Leelanau School in Michigan, where he also collaborates with Ned Hallowell, M.D., on a weeklong summer enrichment camp for kids with ADHD and their parents -- seemed like the perfect person to ask. Here's what he's seen: 

When brought together, kids with ADHD connect in a matter of "minutes." Himburg, who works with kids in the summer program while Dr. Hallowell engages their parents, says he can predict the affiliations instantly: "Those four boys are gonna end up building things together in the woods. Those older boys will talk about the music they're into. Those girls will draw together on our breaks."

Just being together is therapeutic for the kids (and, by extension, their parents). "Every year on about the second morning, a mom or dad comes in and says, "'It's already been worth it. My [child] is saying, I can't believe there are other kids just like me.'"

In academic situations, peer support grows from awareness of self and others. Group work, says Himburg, is "maybe one of the most difficult things we ask" of students at Leelanau, which customizes a rigorous college-prep curriculum to different learning styles. But it pays off in stronger empathy and problem solving, he says. When students know their strengths and others', it "helps create a balance" in the group. "The kids are able to decide 'okay, you take notes; you're the idea guy; and you're a great speaker, so you're definitely doing the presentation...'"

Kids with ADHD benefit from caring "typical" friends. Peers without ADHD can bring out the best in their attention-challenged friends by understanding that ADHD has "nothing to do with intelligence," says Himburg; by appreciating strengths ("maybe that friend with ADHD isn't the strongest in math class, but he's the school champion at tree climbing"); by being patient with typical ADHD behaviors like fidgeting, impulsiveness, zoning out, etc.; and, sometimes, through constructive criticism: "A good friend will learn how to say, 'You know that thing you do? People don't seem to like that.'"

Done well, support-type groups for kids with ADHD can be valuable. In his previous work at the Bay-area Charles Armstrong School, Himburg enlisted 6th through 8th grade students in mentoring 2nd through 4th graders. The kids spent lunches together doing service projects, enjoying books (with older students reading aloud), etc. When younger kids started talking about playground challenges, "the older kids asked if they could help out," says Himburg. "So we rotated them through recess, and they became like on-field 'coaches' for fun games. They also brought simple problem-solving tactics -- like the 'do-over' concept when two kids disagree -- that they could demonstrate better than adults."  

So there you go. Given the right conditions, leadership jumps onto the rich list of assets kids with ADHD can use to help other kids. Says Himburg, "Sometimes you just need to get out of their way."

School Support: Thoughts from Ross Greene, PhD

As a young mom I suffered a mild parenting-book addiction, and one of the better books I read was The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, PhD. Greene's focus is on chronically frustrated, inflexible children and teens, but his approach to behavior issues makes sense for all kinds of kids. While not a central theme of the book, peer support came up in an anecdote from The Explosive Child that stuck with me. During a classroom observation, Greene sees a student he's been working with help a peer with her math. Minutes later she turns around and helps him through a difficult transition, when he becomes upset about switching activities.

I spoke last week with Dr. Greene and asked if he's seen much of this reciprocal support during school visits over the years. "Kids support each other very frequently," he said. "Way more than they tease or bully each other." While it's only a piece of the larger puzzle for kids Greene works with -- who need a specific, strategic approach from parents and teachers -- all kids benefit, he said, when teachers are able to "create a peer culture in which collaborative problem solving is practiced and taught."

The Responsive Classroom and similar frameworks can help leverage kids' natural inclination to help each other into this type of classroom community. And everyone wins.

Dr. Greene's latest book is Lost at School. Learn more about his Collaborative Problem Solving approach at Lives in the Balance.

Flying High

Nobody knows the cracks in our health care system like critically ill kids and their families, who often buckle under the weight of endless medical bills. Sparrow Clubs USA matches groups of kids -- a school, a class, a youth group -- with peers, near or far from home, who are chronically disabled or fighting life-threatening illnesses. Through learning activities called "sparrow projects," clubs raise money to help with health care and other hardships through community-sponsored service-learning activities. More than just a charitable endeavor, "sparrows" and the kids who work on their behalf help each other in different ways. The primary goal is "to infuse compassion, courage, character and conscience into youth and school culture," says the organization. "Sparrow families should see themselves in giving roles--expressing love, dignity, courage and appreciation to the youth who learn positive life-lessons as heroic young helpers."

(image: Toxiferous)

Tic Talk

When you're a kid with neurological differences, often the most meaningful support comes from a peer dealing with the exact same thing. That's what makes Tic Talk such a valuable little book. Written at age 9 by Dylan Peters, who has Tourette syndrome, and illustrated by his friend Zachary Wendland, the book offers comfort and camaraderie for other kids with this often misunderstood condition, which (per the 2007 National Survey of Children's Health) affects 3 out of every 1,000 6- to 17-year-olds in the United States. It's a helpful tool for classroom discussions on the syndrome and on the general phenomenon of transient childhood tics, which are actually quite common, affecting 10 to 20 percent of school-age kids. Kudos to Dylan and Zach for reaching out.

Good Sports

As fun as it is to marvel at the physical feats that define the Olympics, I also love it when young athletes make the news for caring. Especially when it's directed toward a rival -- like the St. Joseph (Mo.) Benton Cardinals football team. Last September their normally fierce adversaries, the Maryville Spoofhounds, did nothing to stop Cardinals running back Matt Ziesel, a freshman with Down syndrome, from running more than 60 yards to put the Cardinals on the scoreboard. And both teams celebrated his moment of triumph.

Now if only those crazed, win-at-all-costs sports parents we keep hearing about would follow their lead.