Caring & Crafty

photo: hellolapomme cc

Making homemade valentines for parents, teachers and other dear ones is a tried-and-true tradition for kids everywhere, but what about those who don't have a closetful of craft supplies on hand, or even the basics like colored paper and glue? GenerationOn, dedicated to igniting the power of kids to make a make their mark on the world, has a fun, relatively simple answer: Kids with the supplies on hand can make valentine card kits for their peers in need, then deliver on or before Feb. 14 (with prior approval first, of course) to a local high-needs school, family shelter, or other youth-/family-serving organization. It's a fun project for a few friends (or a class, Scout troop, etc.) to tackle together, as the kits can be made "assembly line" style. Mom or dad, just add snacks -- and a ride to the recipient site. Then enjoy the feeling of having shared a little crafty love this Valentine's Day.

Tutoring Without Tears

image: earl53

Parent tears, that is. With the cost of a professional tutor ranging in most areas from $30 to $100 an hour, getting help for a struggling young student can be financially painful -- as well as logistically challenging, if you need to get your kid to the tutor's office. Instead, try pairing your child with an older student who can help with homework in your home and won't charge an arm & a leg. Bright, patient high schoolers can be a perfect match for K through 8th graders, while college students can make great helpers and role models for high schoolers. Teen and young-adult students may not have the specialized expertise of a hardcore pro tutor, but they can ease HW anxiety at a much more modest price, usually $15-$25 an hour. Because they're fresher from the experience of whatever grade your kid is in, they can be more empathetic too, which goes a long way. And with college costs skyrocketing, employing students is a truly win-win kids-helping-kids arrangement.

Kindness Pays

(photo credit: T1m0thy77 via photopin cc)

In the fraught world of playground politics, think nice guys finish last? Guess again. A 4-week study found kind kids are happier and better liked by peers. Working with 400 9- to 11-year-olds, the universities conducting the study assigned half the group three simple positive acts per week. At the end of the study period, not only did the kids who performed those acts score higher on happiness measures (which, researchers say, aligns with research on the effect of positive behavior on adult states-of-mind), but they were also chosen by more peers for collaborative classroom activities. Sounds like following the golden rule may be a golden ticket to happier school years.

Rise and Shine

photo: The Delicious Life via photopin cc

On November 15, Stamford, Conn., kids will roll up sleeves for their annual Thanksgiving Bread Drive to benefit peers in need. Using kitchen facilities donated annually by an area school or store, kids come together to bake loaves of yummy nut-free pumpkin bread, then sell them for $10 each as holiday treats. Their 2011 sale raised more than $2,000 to redo a youth-designed playground at a local shelter. Wonder where the dough (sorry, couldn't resist) will go this year?

You've Got a Friend

photo: Guillaume Paumier / Wikimedia Commons, CC-BY-3.0.

Summer, we hardly knew ye! Few school-age kids are thrilled to see September arrive, but at least they have the pleasure of reuniting with friends.

Being a friend is arguably the most important way kids to help other kids, and certainly the most common. Not every kid can start a peer-support charity, but every kid can be a friend.

Why does this matter? Friendships are "among the most important activities of life," writes Anita Gurian, PhD, in "Do Kids Need Friends?" for the NYU Child Study Center. Part of this is the support function most of us think of first -- friends help kids cope with troubling times and transitions such as family stress, starting adolescence & life's inevitable disappointments. But they also acclimate us at a young age to scary emotions like anger, aggression & rejection and provide practice in dealing with all these and more. One constant through the ages & stages is the issue of reciprocity: friendships are sustained when each friend both gives and receives. Think of how important that is in work, marriage & other relationships and it's easy to see why friendship is such a rich training ground for life.

Doggedly Determined



image: amazon.com

 If you stopped by Amazon today, you probably saw the great story about 7-year-old-author Evan Moss. Afflicted with nighttime seizures that are perilous if not managed instantly with medication or, sometimes, a 911 call, Evan self-published a book, My Seizure Dog, to raise money for a specially trained canine companion capable of sniffing out seizures before they begin -- and warning his parents. The cost of such a pet is $13,000, and to date Evan's book has raised $41,000. Where did the extra cash go? He's donated all of it to help other kids -- 7 so far -- complete their fundraising goals and obtain seizure dogs.

Classy Gift

Stuck for end of year teacher gifts? Even when the spotlight's on teacher, kids can help other kids by putting all or part of their teacher-gift budget toward a donation to Donors Choose this spring. The way this works is really cool: Kids/families go online to select a project their teacher will love, choosing from a range of requests submitted by classrooms in need nationwide. They click the "in honor of" option when checking out and designate their teacher. Later, the teacher will hear back from the classroom that benefitted!

Want to go the extra mile? Use teacher thank you stationery to let him/her know about the donation, either in an individual note or a budget-friendly booklet made up of one sheet per student.

Trick or Treat!

My first intro to Trick or Treat for UNICEF, born way back in 1950 when American kids wanted to help overseas peers with the after-effects of WWII, was a Judy Blume book. I can't even remember which one -- possibly Are You There God? It's Me Margaret -- but I do remember thinking wow, what a great idea.

Three generations of U.S. trick-or-treaters for UNICEF have raised a staggering $164 million to date. Where does the money go? UNICEF -- the United Nations Children's Fund -- provides clean water and sanitation, vaccinations, medical care for AIDS-affected children, education programs, and more. 

It's not too late to get involved this year. Kids can order a collection kit, plan a costume party for this terrific cause, or even "trick-or-treat online" for UNICEF. Need inspiration? Check out these kid heroes and kids who've been helped.

Walk This Way

Today is International Walk to School Day, with nearly 3,800 schools participating in the U.S. alone. Walk-and bike-to-school rates have plummeted over the last four decades, with many parents citing safety concerns as the barrier. Safe routes are a piece of the puzzle, but kids can help also each other feel safer on the way to and from school by walking together. It's a common-sense way for kids to help each other maintain a healthy weight, manage stress, and add a little fun to the day. (What better time to debrief on the latest videogame release, Idol vote-off, or peer histrionics than walking with a friend?)

Nutty Buddy

With peanut allergy a treacherous condition for many kids circa 2011, brown-bagging families in some districts have found they need to operate within a school no peanut policy. Other schools, like ours, allow nuts but ask families to tag lunches that contain peanut. I asked my 14-year-old to help create a "Contains Peanut" label that would help protect peanut-allergic peers, and this is what we came up with. As always with our shop, 1/2 the design proceeds to go Save the Children.

All American

image: generationon.org

My nieces are all pretty different in personality and style, but at one time or another they've all played with American Girl dolls. So I know what a monster hit these toys are. Pricey outfits notwithstanding, the AG crew & their corresponding books have done girls at least one service: turning their attention to American history & reinforcing what they learn at school.

That point's not lost on Mary-Grace Reeves, a Pensacola (Fla.) 16-year-old named recently to the Parade All-American Service Team. The American Girl Book Club she started at 13 has reached more than 900 Gulf Coast girls in 3 years, building literacy and promoting community service. Cash shortages in Hurricane Ivan's aftermath pushed her to reach out to a diverse mix of funders and suppliers, from the local Kiwanis and friends-of-the-library clubs to restaurants, a local female attorney, even a landscaping company. Guest speakers from the U. of Florida, Daughters of the American Revolution, and others with history connections are invited to speak at each club meeting. "With the ability to read well," says Reeves at generationon.org, "one can do anything."

Gifted & Giving

One student helps another at North Elementary, Des Plaines, Ill.

When a friend visited recently from Calif., we were catching up on the kids, and she mentioned being pleased with her younger son -- very advanced academically -- for helping out a struggling classmate with some math problems. It was a contrast to what I'd seen written by other parents of gifted kids, many of whom seem to resent their kids being asked to serve as "unpaid assistants" to the teacher. Plenty of experts, too, are opposed to gifted kids tutoring peers in the classroom. I can see how this could misfire, at best, if not well managed and monitored. On the other hand, I wonder if the anti-tutoring parents and experts have considered the potential social and emotional learning benefits for gifted kids. In some cases, academically average or even struggling kids are socially adept, while academically gifted kids may struggle socially. Peer tutoring certainly isn't the only tool for helping them help each other, but done right, it may be worth a try.

Here's a nice parent post that's pro peer tutoring, with caveats.

Hair Apparent

image: prohairdesigner.com

As is our habit in Chicago, we've done a complete 180 on the weather these past few days, turning from gray and drizzly to sunny and steamy. If I were 10 again with long long hair, I think I'd be drawn to Locks of Love, the well-known nonprofit that relies on donated hair to provide custom hairpieces for 6- to 21-year-olds who have lost their hair for medical reasons. Here's a plan for all the hip, giving young girls out there with 10 inches or more of hair to give: Clip it off now, send to Locks of Love, and enjoy the warm summer breeze on your neck (and the feeling of helping another kid). By September, your hair should have grown out enough to snip into one of those cute celebrity bobs that are all over the magazines lately -- just in time for the first day of school.

Almost Famous



image: uscsnow.org

As a survivor of a 5-boy sleepover this past weekend, looking ahead to two more this coming weekend, I've got PJ parties on the brain. So, luckily, do Guilford, Conn., sisters Addie (8) and Delaney (9) Kenney, who recruited 36 girls for an "almost sleepover" (the "almost" being a key concept when you're talking 3 dozen kids!) to help youngsters at an area shelter. Each girl brought a new pair of PJs for a peer at the shelter. Activities included making treats and crafts for seniors and holiday patients, plus the partiers collected $80 for charity. Addie and Delaney are taking their almost-sleepover concept nationwide this October for Make a Difference Day and, according to USA Weekend, have invited the Obama sisters to join in. Newman's Own awarded $10,000 in the Kenney girls' honor to the Life Haven shelter in New Haven.

Class Act

Seeing a peer bullied on the bus in Valhalla, N.Y., a set of teen triplets decided to do something. As high school seniors, they began teaching younger students about bullying and how bystanders can help. There was some concern the program would end when the Williams triplets graduated, but instead they passed the baton to a new crop of seniors. "How it happened, how quickly it grew, and the detail at which it was already formulated when it came forward was certainly a surprise," said Jonathon Thomas, Valhalla High School principal. Less surprising? Other schools have called Valhalla about replicating the kids-help-kids approach.

image: Hey U.G.L.Y.

Moore is More

Gotta love Julianne Moore. Not only did she co-lead the year's most enjoyable (imho) film (The Kids Are All Right), but she founded & continues to support a Valentine card contest for Save the Children that helps kid artists help their low-income peers in Appalachia. Children from across the U.S. drew valentines this year and voted on their favorites. A donation of $25 buys a box of 24 cards featuring 5 winning designs. All proceeds go to Save the Children. Interested? Order cards by Feb. 8 for Valentine's Day delivery!

S.W.A.K.

Late on the holiday cards this year? Me too. It's not too late, though, and this year, why not play around with postage and help kids help kids? Half the design proceeds from these custom Christmas / holiday stamps, featuring kids' artwork, go to Save the Children. 

     

And don't forget holiday thank-you cards...

Beauty Shot

At stores worldwide this month, M.A.C. cosmetics fans can support HIV-affected kids who are helping their peers through abstract artwork with a supercute tartan theme (exhibit A, above). The company's HIV/AIDS advocacy has impressed me for years, but for some nutty reason I only just learned about the M.A.C. AIDS Fund's Kids Helping Kids initiative, which apparently launched way back in '94. Every year, M.A.C. sends art kits to kids 3 to 15 who are affected by HIV, asking them to create designs for holiday cards, tags & bags. The items are sold at M.A.C. counters everywhere, with proceeds going to organizations focused on HIV/AIDS and children. A cause cool enough to brave those cosmetic-department perfume sprayers for...

Positive Attention: Thoughts from Rob Himburg, M.A.

I went to a parent discussion recently where the moderator talked about how kids' "sphere of influence" expands as they mature. Even through adolescence, parents remain major players in how a child sees him/herself and the world -- but peers matter more and more.

When ADHD is in the picture, this process can be tricky...but rewarding, too. I wanted to know how kids with ADHD can support each other, and Rob Himburg -- director of education at the Leelanau School in Michigan, where he also collaborates with Ned Hallowell, M.D., on a weeklong summer enrichment camp for kids with ADHD and their parents -- seemed like the perfect person to ask. Here's what he's seen: 

When brought together, kids with ADHD connect in a matter of "minutes." Himburg, who works with kids in the summer program while Dr. Hallowell engages their parents, says he can predict the affiliations instantly: "Those four boys are gonna end up building things together in the woods. Those older boys will talk about the music they're into. Those girls will draw together on our breaks."

Just being together is therapeutic for the kids (and, by extension, their parents). "Every year on about the second morning, a mom or dad comes in and says, "'It's already been worth it. My [child] is saying, I can't believe there are other kids just like me.'"

In academic situations, peer support grows from awareness of self and others. Group work, says Himburg, is "maybe one of the most difficult things we ask" of students at Leelanau, which customizes a rigorous college-prep curriculum to different learning styles. But it pays off in stronger empathy and problem solving, he says. When students know their strengths and others', it "helps create a balance" in the group. "The kids are able to decide 'okay, you take notes; you're the idea guy; and you're a great speaker, so you're definitely doing the presentation...'"

Kids with ADHD benefit from caring "typical" friends. Peers without ADHD can bring out the best in their attention-challenged friends by understanding that ADHD has "nothing to do with intelligence," says Himburg; by appreciating strengths ("maybe that friend with ADHD isn't the strongest in math class, but he's the school champion at tree climbing"); by being patient with typical ADHD behaviors like fidgeting, impulsiveness, zoning out, etc.; and, sometimes, through constructive criticism: "A good friend will learn how to say, 'You know that thing you do? People don't seem to like that.'"

Done well, support-type groups for kids with ADHD can be valuable. In his previous work at the Bay-area Charles Armstrong School, Himburg enlisted 6th through 8th grade students in mentoring 2nd through 4th graders. The kids spent lunches together doing service projects, enjoying books (with older students reading aloud), etc. When younger kids started talking about playground challenges, "the older kids asked if they could help out," says Himburg. "So we rotated them through recess, and they became like on-field 'coaches' for fun games. They also brought simple problem-solving tactics -- like the 'do-over' concept when two kids disagree -- that they could demonstrate better than adults."  

So there you go. Given the right conditions, leadership jumps onto the rich list of assets kids with ADHD can use to help other kids. Says Himburg, "Sometimes you just need to get out of their way."

Toy Drive!

image: Disney/Pixar

The folks at teen-founded Second Chance Toys have been busy since I posted about them back in April-- securing 501(c)(3) status, passing the 50,000 mark in rescued-toy donations, and expanding into new geographical areas. You and your kids can help by bringing previously owned plastic toys (clean & in good condition, please) to a dropoff location this month or next. Want to spread this kid-friendly, eco-friendly effort to your community? Hit the ground running with the organization's starter kit. Woody & Buzz would be proud.