Face to Face

image: changeforthechildren.org

Few kids like to be noticed for their differences, especially physical ones. So how to handle a prominent facial birthmark? Evan Ducker, 17, drew on firsthand experience to write a children's book dealing with the issue. The Kingston, N.Y., high schooler helped arrange a May read-along for thousands of students "to increase tolerance" of birthmarks such as his own facial port-wine stain. The book's premise -- a Galapagos Island booby bird has a chance to have his birthmark magically removed; will he take it? -- seems relatable to many types of differences kids experience. For his efforts, the teen author earned a spot on Parade's All-America High School Service Team, props from the Jonas Brothers, and most importantly -- he told Parade -- "parents' emails saying how much more confident their kids with birthmarks are" after reading the book.

Gifted & Giving

One student helps another at North Elementary, Des Plaines, Ill.

When a friend visited recently from Calif., we were catching up on the kids, and she mentioned being pleased with her younger son -- very advanced academically -- for helping out a struggling classmate with some math problems. It was a contrast to what I'd seen written by other parents of gifted kids, many of whom seem to resent their kids being asked to serve as "unpaid assistants" to the teacher. Plenty of experts, too, are opposed to gifted kids tutoring peers in the classroom. I can see how this could misfire, at best, if not well managed and monitored. On the other hand, I wonder if the anti-tutoring parents and experts have considered the potential social and emotional learning benefits for gifted kids. In some cases, academically average or even struggling kids are socially adept, while academically gifted kids may struggle socially. Peer tutoring certainly isn't the only tool for helping them help each other, but done right, it may be worth a try.

Here's a nice parent post that's pro peer tutoring, with caveats.

It Gets Better

It's never easy, but adolescence can be especially harrowing for gay and bisexual kids. To help them cope with the pain, harrassment and isolation that can result from coming out (or not coming out), there's Dan Savage's incredible It Gets Better campaign. Thousands of gay adults have told their stories, shared their strategies, and radiated love and acceptance through YouTube videos shared on the campaign's website. But struggling kids will also find help from their peers, in the form of videotaped coming-out stories that run the gamut of emotions but all ultimately deliver the same message: You're not alone.

Hair Apparent

image: prohairdesigner.com

As is our habit in Chicago, we've done a complete 180 on the weather these past few days, turning from gray and drizzly to sunny and steamy. If I were 10 again with long long hair, I think I'd be drawn to Locks of Love, the well-known nonprofit that relies on donated hair to provide custom hairpieces for 6- to 21-year-olds who have lost their hair for medical reasons. Here's a plan for all the hip, giving young girls out there with 10 inches or more of hair to give: Clip it off now, send to Locks of Love, and enjoy the warm summer breeze on your neck (and the feeling of helping another kid). By September, your hair should have grown out enough to snip into one of those cute celebrity bobs that are all over the magazines lately -- just in time for the first day of school.

Do the Right Thing

Last week at a "Teens and the Law" panel discussion, I found myself drawn to the comments of a caring but stern prosecutor. Maybe it's because he was the only one on the panel to openly recognize the importance of teens helping each other in risky situations. One question from the audience was whether a kid could get in trouble for having consumed alcohol if his/her friend needed help and he/she called 911 while under the influence. A legitimate question, but the judge was incredulous: "Your friend needs medical attention and you're worried about saving your own skin?" When the subject turned to legal issues related to teen sex, particularly when one partner has been drinking, the judge had a strong message: "Look. If you're at a party and your friend 'disappears'? FIND your friend. Get your friend home NOW."

The whole talk made me grateful all over again for having made it through high school with a peer group that got in trouble with the law only for hanging out in the neighborhood at night, bored and goofy but utterly substance-free. Every kid should be so lucky. Then again, it's not all luck, is it?

A for Effort

Typical teens today are busier than ever, but Alana Ethridge takes it up a notch further. As if balancing academics, extracurriculars, and TV & film jobs (including a stint on "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?") weren't enough, the 14-year-old started her own foundation, Alana's Achievers, through Athletes for Education. The goal? Help other kids "achieve their dreams and set positive goals in life" and build the habits they need to get there, from strong school attendance to healthy eating and regular exercise. Understanding that extracurriculars are a pathway to discovering passions, she's offered modest scholarships for disadvantaged kids to cover the cost of these programs. She's raised funds for sick kids, including 9-year-old Danielle Lerma, who is in treatment for a rare blood disease. And she's promoted literacy, recruiting young celebs to visit her school in support of reading programs and partnering with Storytime for Me, aimed at early childhood literacy. You'd think she'd be tuckered out by now, but something tells me Alana's just getting started ...

Almost Famous



image: uscsnow.org

As a survivor of a 5-boy sleepover this past weekend, looking ahead to two more this coming weekend, I've got PJ parties on the brain. So, luckily, do Guilford, Conn., sisters Addie (8) and Delaney (9) Kenney, who recruited 36 girls for an "almost sleepover" (the "almost" being a key concept when you're talking 3 dozen kids!) to help youngsters at an area shelter. Each girl brought a new pair of PJs for a peer at the shelter. Activities included making treats and crafts for seniors and holiday patients, plus the partiers collected $80 for charity. Addie and Delaney are taking their almost-sleepover concept nationwide this October for Make a Difference Day and, according to USA Weekend, have invited the Obama sisters to join in. Newman's Own awarded $10,000 in the Kenney girls' honor to the Life Haven shelter in New Haven.