Stuttering Support

cc photo: Kate Ter Haar

Sometimes the kids who most powerfully help other kids are characters in books. In the case of Vince Vawry's semi-autobiographical Paperboy, the 11-year-old protagonist struggles with a significant stutter against the backdrop of segregated Memphis in the late '50s. Lauded by both book critics who compare it to To Kill a Mockingbird and by disability groups like the Stuttering Foundation of America, this would make an especially great Christmas gift for middle schoolers who stutter. Or a great read-aloud choice for teachers with a student who does.

Heartbreak Hotel

(photo: Sontra via photopin cc)

While this Valentine's Day will be heart-filled & happy for many teens, it's a sad fact of life that for some, the timing will be awful. February is indeed the cruelest month for a romantic breakup. But just like being a good friend is the top way kids can help kids in day to day life, being a caring, respectful boyfriend or girlfriend can turn any teen into an everyday hero -- especially when it's time to end a relationship. Here's some good advice for breakups, culled from kidshealth.org:

Do:

• Be honest about why you're breaking up with your guy or girl, but not brutally so. Use tact.
• Think through all the ways the person might react, and try to prepare yourself. 
• Break up in person! Would you want someone to break up with you via Facebook or text?

Don't:

• Rush the conversation. Take some time to consider your reasons and how you'll handle this.
• Tell others beforehand that you're planning to break up with your GF or BF. They might blab.
• Badmouth or gossip about your ex after you've broken up. Golden Rule, karma, whatever you call it -- it's just not smart.

Teens who find themselves guiding a friend through splitsville may want to show him or her this online "mending a broken heart" quiz from WebMD. Answering it together is a fun distraction, and you'll both learn something in the process.

Rise and Shine

photo: The Delicious Life via photopin cc

On November 15, Stamford, Conn., kids will roll up sleeves for their annual Thanksgiving Bread Drive to benefit peers in need. Using kitchen facilities donated annually by an area school or store, kids come together to bake loaves of yummy nut-free pumpkin bread, then sell them for $10 each as holiday treats. Their 2011 sale raised more than $2,000 to redo a youth-designed playground at a local shelter. Wonder where the dough (sorry, couldn't resist) will go this year?

Mitzvah Magic

Image: Tailored Type on Zazzle

One of my favorite aspects of the bar & bat mitzvahs my kids have been attending over the past couple of years is learning about new charities, and in some cases new ways for teens to help their peers, through the many bar and bat mitzvah projects their friends have chosen to undertake. Mitzvah projects are a terrific opportunity for a concentrated kids-helping-kids effort. A few ideas (with thanks to the Mitzvah Circle Foundation for the first 4 suggestions!)


~ Start a "Lids for Kids" campaign, collecting cool new hats -- baseball caps for summer, fun knits for winter -- to donate to the pediatric cancer center at an area hospital.

~If you know of an organization that works with teen moms, ask your synagogue or school to help you throw a "baby shower": put a crib or pack-and-play in the lobby and ask people to fill it up with new baby supplies, from clothing to diapers.

~Collect gently used board games for an area agency that works with low-income youth, or even for the offices of local counselors/social workers who express a need for games (no, the iPad hasn't made them obselete; board games are still great icebreakers & relationship builders).

~Collect gently used sports equipment for the nearest Boys & Girls Club, YMCA or other agency that offers youth sports programs for kids/teens in need.

~Run a lemonade stand [ or three ;) ] for Alex's Lemonade.

~Gather friends, or host a party, to make no-sew blankets for Project Linus.

~Go green, collecting gently used plastic toys for Secondhand Toys.

~Make dreams come true by running a Make-a-Wish Kids for Wish Kids project.

~Knit newborn hats for From Ewe to You.

~Have a sleepover and collect new PJs for the Pajama Program.

~ Do like Riley Goodfellow and eat rice & beans for a month (hey, she did it at 8!), donating the grocery money you save to an organization that fights youth hunger, or to charity:water like Riley did.

~ Organize a spare change campaign to help kids.

Done with your kids-helping-kids mitzvah project? Take it a step further by choosing bar / bat mitzvah party supplies that benefit Save the Children.

It Gets Better

It's never easy, but adolescence can be especially harrowing for gay and bisexual kids. To help them cope with the pain, harrassment and isolation that can result from coming out (or not coming out), there's Dan Savage's incredible It Gets Better campaign. Thousands of gay adults have told their stories, shared their strategies, and radiated love and acceptance through YouTube videos shared on the campaign's website. But struggling kids will also find help from their peers, in the form of videotaped coming-out stories that run the gamut of emotions but all ultimately deliver the same message: You're not alone.

Do the Right Thing

Last week at a "Teens and the Law" panel discussion, I found myself drawn to the comments of a caring but stern prosecutor. Maybe it's because he was the only one on the panel to openly recognize the importance of teens helping each other in risky situations. One question from the audience was whether a kid could get in trouble for having consumed alcohol if his/her friend needed help and he/she called 911 while under the influence. A legitimate question, but the judge was incredulous: "Your friend needs medical attention and you're worried about saving your own skin?" When the subject turned to legal issues related to teen sex, particularly when one partner has been drinking, the judge had a strong message: "Look. If you're at a party and your friend 'disappears'? FIND your friend. Get your friend home NOW."

The whole talk made me grateful all over again for having made it through high school with a peer group that got in trouble with the law only for hanging out in the neighborhood at night, bored and goofy but utterly substance-free. Every kid should be so lucky. Then again, it's not all luck, is it?

Survival Skills

Given that it centers on a televised children's fight-to-the-death, Suzanne Collins's electrifying Hunger Games certainly pushes the envelope on the "Kids Helping Kids" theme. But the two protagonists are teens who survive by sticking together. My sons were so crazy about the book that they made me read it, and I'm glad. Commonsense Media has a good summary & discussion tips for Hunger Games, which is the first in a series of 3 (so far) and is best for ages 12+ due to violence & gore, especially toward the end.