Kindness Pays

(photo credit: T1m0thy77 via photopin cc)

In the fraught world of playground politics, think nice guys finish last? Guess again. A 4-week study found kind kids are happier and better liked by peers. Working with 400 9- to 11-year-olds, the universities conducting the study assigned half the group three simple positive acts per week. At the end of the study period, not only did the kids who performed those acts score higher on happiness measures (which, researchers say, aligns with research on the effect of positive behavior on adult states-of-mind), but they were also chosen by more peers for collaborative classroom activities. Sounds like following the golden rule may be a golden ticket to happier school years.

Heartbreak Hotel

(photo: Sontra via photopin cc)

While this Valentine's Day will be heart-filled & happy for many teens, it's a sad fact of life that for some, the timing will be awful. February is indeed the cruelest month for a romantic breakup. But just like being a good friend is the top way kids can help kids in day to day life, being a caring, respectful boyfriend or girlfriend can turn any teen into an everyday hero -- especially when it's time to end a relationship. Here's some good advice for breakups, culled from kidshealth.org:

Do:

• Be honest about why you're breaking up with your guy or girl, but not brutally so. Use tact.
• Think through all the ways the person might react, and try to prepare yourself. 
• Break up in person! Would you want someone to break up with you via Facebook or text?

Don't:

• Rush the conversation. Take some time to consider your reasons and how you'll handle this.
• Tell others beforehand that you're planning to break up with your GF or BF. They might blab.
• Badmouth or gossip about your ex after you've broken up. Golden Rule, karma, whatever you call it -- it's just not smart.

Teens who find themselves guiding a friend through splitsville may want to show him or her this online "mending a broken heart" quiz from WebMD. Answering it together is a fun distraction, and you'll both learn something in the process.

You've Got a Friend

photo: Guillaume Paumier / Wikimedia Commons, CC-BY-3.0.

Summer, we hardly knew ye! Few school-age kids are thrilled to see September arrive, but at least they have the pleasure of reuniting with friends.

Being a friend is arguably the most important way kids to help other kids, and certainly the most common. Not every kid can start a peer-support charity, but every kid can be a friend.

Why does this matter? Friendships are "among the most important activities of life," writes Anita Gurian, PhD, in "Do Kids Need Friends?" for the NYU Child Study Center. Part of this is the support function most of us think of first -- friends help kids cope with troubling times and transitions such as family stress, starting adolescence & life's inevitable disappointments. But they also acclimate us at a young age to scary emotions like anger, aggression & rejection and provide practice in dealing with all these and more. One constant through the ages & stages is the issue of reciprocity: friendships are sustained when each friend both gives and receives. Think of how important that is in work, marriage & other relationships and it's easy to see why friendship is such a rich training ground for life.

Playground Pals

The schoolyard can be a lonely place when you're 7, and shy. In Glencoe, Ill., first and second graders can volunteer as Playground Pals who help make sure everyone has someone to play with at recess. Their job? To say "yes" whenever someone asks to play, and to seek out children who look as though they might need a friend. Volunteers are trained (during one lunch/recess period) on initiating & accepting invitations to play. Then they're assigned one day a week for several months to serve as Playground Pals. What a fun way to promote caring and fight cliques.